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In​/​Out​/​Side

by Eric Ash

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1.
I’ve been wondering lately, if you’re ok. I’ve been wandering aimlessly, chasing these thoughts away. the streetlights shine a different shade- my friend, please don’t go, away. you can come over to my place- we can talk and forget all about today. I’ve been wondering lately, how we’re composed. someone once told me, we’re not dust but gold. the streetlights shine a different shade- my friend, please don’t go, away. you can come over to my place- we can talk and forget all about today.
2.
untitled 03:26
it’s nipping at my mind- incidentally I’m fine. if I go what will I find? searching for what’s beyond mine. entangled in these webs of habits that we’ve kept. summer rain is falling down- we could get lost in the sound. nothing’s lost so nothing’s found- questions have been turned around. entangled in these webs of habits that we’ve kept.
3.
what's next? 02:42
what’s next? we’re always planning the rest of our lives. we forget, what’s right in front of us all the time. and all I see, are people pining for happiness- and all we get, is the feeling there’s something that we can’t get. what’s next? we’re always trying to fill this hole in our chest. we forget, that we were made whole and we only chip away at it. and all we want, is to be loved and to find a home- but we can’t rest, when there’s always somewhere we have to get. we are good enough, just the way that we are. you are good enough, you are not a failure.
4.
just begun 03:32
hey, we all say, we’ll do this, or that someday. but today, has been made, we don’t have, the time to waste. cuz every day starts to fade into one- every day, I feel like I’ve just… hey, we all say, that we want, to make a change. but every day, we drift in waves, they lead to, the same place. cuz every day starts to fade into one- every day, I feel like I’ve just… every day starts to fade into one- every day, I feel like I’ve just… begun, to see, what’s right in front of me. just begun, to see, what’s right in front of me. (what is this place, what is this place? we have today, we have today.)
5.
on knowing 02:10
I’m lost in my thoughts again- these melodies drift in my head- I don’t know which way to go- but everyone else, they seem to know. someone please tell me, what I’m missing here, I see melodies that no one else can hear. we move outward in every direction oh, can we find our way back home? I’m lost in this sea again- while all of my friends, they drift ahead- I’ll sit and watch the river flow- there’s only one place that we can go. someone please tell me, what I’m missing here, I see melodies that no one else can hear. we move outward in every direction oh, can we start all over?
6.
findings 04:26
I’ve finally found, the words to say, but when I start to speak, they escape. I finally understand, the way I should act, but your painted veneer, it’s collapsing. ( ) we gather piles of gold, so when we grow old, we can have nice things, on our mantel. but someday soon, it will follow, that all our possessions, are hollow. at the center of all this, there’s something we’re all missing, we’re alive, you are- at the center of all this, there’s something we’re all missing, we’re alive, you are, alive.
7.
interlude 01:58
( )
8.
for jesse 02:59
we never get the chance to say hello- please just take my hand and shake it. we never get the chance to take this slow- my mind, at least I know is racing. but we’ll take, these moments- I’ll take, these moments- we never get the chance to say goodbye, I’ll never understand. I never got the chance to say goodbye to you, I’ll never understand- this place, this place. this place. this place- this place is displaced, is displaced, is displaced- is this place far away, far away, far away? you know this place is this way, is this way, is this way- this place is misplaced, is misplaced, is misplaced.
9.
for anton 03:17
in and out of the hospital again, when will this end? in and out of your head, is this a test? and what did you do to deserve, all of this mess? //you left your heart open, and the world took care of the rest. nothing stays the same, I know a smile exists beneath, all this pain. no one said, life would be a fight, please stay, inside there is light. in and out through these doors, we go, never alone. up and down and across, what’s below? we still don’t know- and I can’t think of what to say, driving away. and how should we wade through this darkness, laid out this way? nothing stays the same, I know a smile exists beneath, all this pain. no one said, life would be a fight, please stay, inside there is light.
10.
for micah 02:36
you played guitar, and we stayed up too late, I can’t believe, you left yesterday. oceans and mountains, and canyons across, I hope you will write soon, so that we can talk. well everyone drifts away, but I don’t need a picture frame to see your face. I’ll just remember those days, of running through the summer sun, with nothing in our way. late at the table, we found on the street, we poured our hearts out, no walls in between. well you pointed out, what I can’t see in myself, let’s take a walk, and get out of this house. well everyone drifts away, but I don’t need a picture frame to see your face. I’ll just remember those days, of running through the summer sun, with nothing in our way.
11.
I’m tired of lying to myself, but I can’t deceive my sense of smell. sometimes I drift off as someone else, I’m searching for something outside my self. I know, I have everything I need- but somehow I feel incomplete. I’m tired of waiting around, how long will you string me out? the night seems long when you’re by yourself, waiting and wondering if I’ll see you now. I know, I have everything I need. but somehow I feel incomplete.
12.
last page 03:17
swept away, by thoughts of yesterday. time escapes me there’s so much left to say. we’re back where we started again we’re back where we started again we’re back where we started again- if this were the last page, I ever would write- I’d tell you that you’ll be just fine. we run and run, away- only to return to the same place. we’re back where we started again we’re back where we started again we’re back where we started again- oh we go to try again oh we get to try again oh we get to try again- oh we get to try again oh we get to try again oh we get to try, again.

about

The music on this record is based off of poetry, other writings, and melodic and harmonic fragments that I have been collecting, editing, combining, and re-working over the past four years. The writing explores the relationship between the experiences of others and the picture I am creating of myself. To me, the direct nature of the text suggested a more stripped-down, intimate treatment of instrumentation and arrangement, which is why these songs feature acoustic guitar and vocals in the foreground, with additional violin, guitar, and vocals used sparingly to add color and texture in the background.

credits

released August 6, 2017

produced, engineered, mixed, and mastered by Ryan Gehrig from March 2016-June 2017 in Bay View and South Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

guitar, vocals, violin: Eric Ash.
additional vocals on wondering/wandering and last page: Ryan Gehrig
additional guitar on for micah: Kyle Smith
additional drums on what’s next, interlude, and untitled: Adam Heil

album artwork: Emily Schamburek

all songs written by Eric Ash.
thank you for listening.

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Eric Ash Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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